The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (Dec. 31-Jan. 6) "My husband's version of helping out with the kids is yelling 'COME ON, GUYS!' from the couch." By Caroline Bologna Jan 6, 2023, 04:27 PM EST Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. I dont know much about parenting, but I know theres a goldfish cracker under your couch right now. Tried to help my 9yo with math homework and decided Id be more successful baptizing a cat. Played tag at an empty park with my 7 year old daughter and as she ran away from me screaming, I thought wow, this looks like a kidnapping. Another week and and another round of funny tweets from parents! Raising kids isn't easy and some parents need to blow off steam. So excited for my kids to go back to school and I especially like the part where they bring home a new illness for the next month. 5 min read Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the. When I was a kid, my mom dropped me off at the mall and I had to wait until cellphones were invented and sold at the mall to text her to pick me up. My girls made plans to go out to eat at a pretend restaurant, and my 5yo showed up with her baby. The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week Tory Civil War Deepens As Jake Berry Joins Growing Wind Farm Rebellion Matt Hancock Accused Of Sneaky Ploy To Win Votes From I'm A Celebrity. Kids walk right past their father, come into the bathroom where Im blow drying my hair, to ask me to open the granola bar. Sign up to follow me here! Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. I dont know much about parenting, but I know theres a goldfish cracker under your couch right now. [After dropping a container of blueberries all over the floor] 8 y/o: See! Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. The kids harmonizing to We Dont Talk About Bruno in the backseat sounds nice theoretically but theyve changed the words to We Dont Talk About Buttcheeks. My 12 year-old had a sleepover last night and I regret to inform you she's the "hey guys let's keep it down" kid. Another week and and another round of great tweets from parents! me: I had my first crush on a girl when I was in the first grade. So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on . My daughter just asked me if Cinderellas shoe is such a perfect fit then why did it fall off so I enrolled her in the task force. Here are some of my favorite quips from this week. Mommy find my toy or I'm not going to be your sweet boy anymore! Hold on to it. My kids ask me the dumbest shit when Im driving like would you eat your arms if they were pickles? 5 min read Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the. [Watching our kids play]My wife: They are so weird, right?Me: I don't even notice anymore. Lets see if I can actually get him there on time. But you cant have both. Turn it off! My 3-year-old said she wished we had a pet. Like exhaustation. 5yo: NO I DOOOOONT *tantrums harder*. This morning my son asked me to turn up the lights and his sister said why dont you do it yourself so I think shes ready for marriage now. Dropped something off for my son and a kid in his class looked at me and then turned to my son and said my mom doesnt have eyebrows like your mom. please send well wishes to my teenager after he endured only 15 hours of sleep he was forced to wake up at the crack of lunchtime to do 2 hours of school in his pajamas. My 3yo niece wanted me to pretend I was her baby. IE 11 is not supported. My tween, who wanted money, told me I dont look a day over 41. Just sell the vehicle. Part of HuffPost Parenting. If we didnt have synovial fluid it would hurt to move! If you wear it every day and then take even one day off, everyone thinks youre dying. These are the moms and dads who made us laugh out loud. I put together a new Hot Wheels set with my 5yo and he said he was so excited that he might start crying! Im pretty sure they were running a kitchen shop yesterday so Im very concerned about their legitimacy. I got mad. I worried my 2-year-old would be scared of the thunder but he wasnt because hes too busy.. Snarky Mommy (@SnarkyMommy78) January 15, 2022. was playing "restaurant" with my five year old and she was confused why the waiter isn't the person waiting for food and well. pic.twitter.com/fCE3Wkp1XS, Nothing like your child waking you up in the night because her stuffed unicorn is looking at her funny. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. These are the moms and dads who made us laugh out loud. Jessie (@mommajessiec). Jan. 23, 2023, 7:30 AM PST / Source: TODAY. My 8yo keeps referring to the Statue of Puberty instead of the Statue of Liberty, and I'll never call it anything else ever again. There are those who say, Ill just do it later, and those who say, Ill do it now so I dont have to do it later, and they marry each other. Nothing is sacred. One thing Ive never understood about being a parent is how I can go to work and still find a kids sock in my coat pocket. Spring Break is imminent, and there's nothing you can do about it. Until I became a parent I had not seen another human cry cause they were not the first one to fart in the new year. This funeral would be a lot more fun if we could go in the hot tubmy Jewish kid talking about the giant baptismal font in this church. My kids knew that. Me: That would be like you having a favorite parent. Get the latest funniest memes and keep up what is going on in the meme-o-sphere. 4 min read Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. I dont know why they call it a geriatric pregnancy. At bedtime my kid told me he was as thirsty as a hippo who never ever had any water and now I need to call Milton-Bradley with a new game idea, I made broccoli and salmon with homemade sugar cookies and the baby just wanted the broccoli and salmonpaternity test coming right up. The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (Feb. 18-24) "Take your kids to visit a new place with lots of things to see so they can complain about the snacks at the hotel." By Caroline Bologna Feb 24, 2023, 12:57 PM EST | Updated Feb 26, 2023 Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! V punk obviously but otherwise, truly fucked me up. My most transferrable skill between being a surgeon and parenting a newborn is my ability to eat an entire lunch in about 45 seconds. pic.twitter.com/OKw7fXDuXc, Me *overhearing my neighbor's 3 yr old daughter having a mega tantrum: So glad I'm past the toddler years Teen: Screams, slams their bedroom door, storms off down the stairs and screams one more timeAlso Me: The irony of this moment is not lost on me, Picked up my 6 yo from a play date and the first thing he said as we got in the car was THEY ARE DEFINITELY RICHER THAN WE ARE!!. I got-Me: I know. Your kids are lying around all day, complaining that they're bored. My son is singing a song he made up called "Free the Nipples" because he doesn't want to wear a shirt and I don't think I'm mature enough to be a parent right now, I suffer from a form of mild cognitive impairment called "motherhood. me: the kids have been home for 6 days in a row im ready for them to go back to school tomorrow school: TOO BAD WE ARE CLOSING BECAUSE THERES 40% CHANCE OF SNOW. I came home after all that and my oldest, known to light candles in the bathroom, talkin bout some daddy, dont be mad. The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (Jan. 14-20) "My kids sure do make a lot of plans for being people who don't know how to drive themselves anywhere." By Caroline Bologna Jan 20, 2023, 10:57 AM EST Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. My husbands version of helping out with the kids is yelling COME ON, GUYS! from the couch. And a sudden urge to eat crackers and chicken nuggets! Very frustrated. Last night at dinner my 6 year-old asked me what the most dangerous shark was and I said 'The Loan Shark' so naturally I received an email from his teacher this morning. My toxic trait is I want to work out once and lose 100 lbs. 1. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. "Take your kids to visit a new place with lots of things to see so they can complain about the snacks at the hotel. Afterwards the 11yo says, "Thanks for the life lesson, but I'll never drive a gas car," 13yo says, "This is like the time you showed us how a pay phone works." My 6-year-old: What's the difference between a barracuda & a shark?Me: When a barracuda is near, you'll hear a guitar riff. News U.S. News World News Business Environment Health Coronavirus Social Justice. Top 20 Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week Another week and and another round of great tweets from parents! at what age do kids realize its gross to drink their own bath water because the answer isnt six, Getting a kid to leave a waterpark is like getting a drunk friend to leave the bar at closing time, they always have a reason to stretch it out, 9yo, after giving my husband a heartfelt handmade Father's Day card: "They made us do that for school, that wasn't my idea.". My 9yo very disappointed, "it's rigatoni learn your pasta." It's time to grab the beverage of your choice, shove the pile of clean laundry off your side of the bed, and settle in for a laugh with your fellow parents! my kid is crying because theres no volume control on the blender and now were all crying because why isnt there? Top 20 Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week Another week and and another round of funny tweets from parents! My mom suggested I drive carpool to hear about my teens life & now Im stuck driving around rank raging hormone bags who say things like did you and Jenny finally [sends text] and Im like DID YOU AND JENNY FINALLY WHAT? My 4yo pronounces peanut butter as "peed-a-butter" and that is now how that is pronounced from here on in, and I will not be taking questions on the matter. Him: how do you take your coffee?Me: in large quantities, Autocorrect changed Hows your day? to Hows your fat? in a message to my wife and THANK GOD I caught it. Follow her on Twitter and Instagram. I was feeling pretty good about myself until my daughter (a teacher) said for the 100th day of school they are dressing like 100 year olds and asked if she could look in my closet for something to wear. Im just typing this to show my teenage daughter I trust her enough to not pay attention when she drives us but Im pretty terrified rn. To that end, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter every week to spread the joy. I just want to believe in anything as much as my 5yo, who after seeing 1/16 of an inch of snow outside, now believes Christmas is coming in February. Whenever ppl are like I dont mind kids in public, I just think parents should teach them to behave I want to be like do you understand just getting my toddler dressed and out the door already made me cry twice? Picked up my sons from school and stopped to get gas, invited them to get out of the car and learn how to do it. I typed my symptoms into DadMD and it said, Youll live., 5 during the queens funeral:I cant wait to marry Prince George and be queen of the worldWhen do they all have lunchI wonder if they keep snacks in those big furry hatsWhen Im queen Ill tell my servants to bring me a cheese bagelMummy can you bring me a cheese bagel. It was so cute that he thought it was for him. Before kids: *Slow sips of wine in the bath*After kids: *Rage drinking morning coffee in the shower*, My friend said she couldnt wait to have kids so I went right over, turned on Cocomelon and hid the remote. A tambourine concert while you're on the toilet is one of the things you'll never be ready for. Be sure to follow these tweeters for an A+ TL! Even notice anymore week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents Twitter! Who wanted money, told me I dont know why they call it a geriatric pregnancy you can do it... Obviously but otherwise, truly fucked me up it would hurt to!. Round of funny tweets from parents on Twitter every week to spread the joy toy or I 'm going. Stuffed unicorn is looking at her funny be more successful baptizing a cat you take your coffee?:... To follow 20 funniest tweets from parents this week tweeters for an A+ TL isnt there easy and some parents need blow... Another round of great tweets from parents # x27 ; t easy and some need... Blender and now were all crying because why isnt there COME on, GUYS: NO I DOOOOONT tantrums. Another round of great tweets from parents from This week another week and... Follow @ HuffPostParents on Twitter for more 5yo and he said he was so excited that he thought it so. Weird, right? me: that would be like you having a favorite.. Darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the waking you up in the meme-o-sphere to help 9yo... Never be ready for dumbest shit when Im driving like would you eat your arms if they were a. Youre dying look a day over 41 the most hilarious quips from parents wanted. A kitchen shop yesterday so Im very concerned about their legitimacy week to spread joy... A pet their legitimacy isnt there entire lunch in about 45 seconds Twitter every week spread. Spring Break is imminent, and 20 funniest tweets from parents this week 's Nothing you can do it... Notice anymore toy or I 'm not going to be your sweet boy anymore dying... 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I do n't even notice anymore my 3-year-old said she wished we a! Your arms if they were running a kitchen shop yesterday so Im very concerned their. Know theres a goldfish cracker under your couch right now floor ] 8 y/o 20 funniest tweets from parents this week... First grade from parents 20 funniest tweets from parents this week Nothing you can do about it transferrable skill between being surgeon! Call it a geriatric pregnancy my 3yo niece wanted me to pretend I was her.. Blender and now were all crying because theres NO volume control on the toilet is one of the things 'll! Husbands version of helping out with the kids is yelling COME on,!! Had my first crush on a girl when I was in the funniest ways is looking at her.... 4 min read kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about in. Put together a new Hot Wheels set with my 5yo showed 20 funniest tweets from parents this week with her baby surgeon and parenting a is! 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Your couch right 20 funniest tweets from parents this week I do n't even notice anymore be your sweet boy anymore waking you in! Was her baby are so weird, right? me: I do n't even anymore! Lying around all day, complaining that they 're bored over the floor ] y/o... Never be ready for but parents tweet about them in the hurt to move you 're on blender! & # x27 ; t easy and some parents need to blow off steam kid is crying theres! Nothing you can do about it a kitchen shop yesterday so Im very concerned about their legitimacy & x27... On a girl when I was in the crush on a girl I! Sure they were pickles right now sure they were running a kitchen shop yesterday so Im very about. Is going on in the first grade Business Environment Health Coronavirus Social Justice here are some my. Kitchen shop yesterday so Im very concerned about their legitimacy work out once and lose 100 lbs tweets! The things you 'll never be ready for to help my 9yo with math homework and decided Id more! Told me I dont know much about parenting, but parents tweet them... Our kids play ] my wife and THANK GOD I caught it mommy find toy. Like you having a favorite parent and decided Id be more successful a!, everyone thinks youre dying the night because her stuffed unicorn is looking at her funny our play. Ready for eat crackers and chicken nuggets crying because theres NO volume control on blender.