It's grossly inappropriate. She was sitting on his lap and they were watching. This works well until my husband is involved. Ask him to help you out in creating a comfort zone. Press J to jump to the feed. When I told my husband I thought it was a weird relationship, he yelled at me. They don't mind walking in to each other when one of them is actually using the bathroom like in the tub or on the pot!2. Best of luck, and if you want some reading on BPD, a good book isLoving Someone With Borderline Personality Disorder (dont worry, Im not telling you to love her, but its a helpful book about dealing with those with BPD). "She . male It will also draw her closer to you, which can get you brownie points. As someone with BPD, I found it quite refreshing and pleasantly surprising to read an answer that didnt demonize pwBPD. female My husband says Im overreacting. Try to estimate your love for them and compare it with your love for your husband. Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. I feel like avoiding his family altogether now, he can deal with them on his own. Hes told you to leave, and hes had enough. If I say anything about it, he jumps all over me, defending her. Neither one of us wants a divorce and we want things to work, we get each other like nobody else does. Ive already told him not to talk about me to her, and he knew this included finances, but he just couldnt help himself. But, Im guessing that because they have no parents, and their family has abandoned them, that theyve developed a bond in which they are totally reliant upon one another, and they both fear abandonment. In some families saying, I love you, hugging is a normal way to express love.However, in some families, there is a certain level of strictness and they just have to follow the respectful order to express their love/respect.You probably just need to expand your level of understanding.Secondly, rather than shouting at your hubby, you could have shared your point of view with him, by saying, "Your sister is growing up, I know you both share a special bond, but I just want you to be careful about her.So that she doesn't get into any trouble these days! My husband and his sister have a very close relationship, his sister is 33 he is 31 and I am very uncomfortable with their relationship. Something isnt right with this relationship, and I agree that they are a little too close for comfort. To make any relationship work, emotional support is needed. Jealous of each other's romantic relationship. This blog is not intended as medical advice or diagnosis and should in no way replace consultation with a medical professional. But I really hope that in the future, you can share information ONLY that relates to you, and not to me.. Staring at his sisters boobs is gross, yes. I need to see some documentation, old photos, or something to prove that they are siblings. Remember, theyve always been dependent on one another before you came into the picture. When she found out we were getting married she was overjoyed. So, my sister and dad had come up to visit and then take my . She is 4 years younger than us, and that makes me think that I am just reading into this, however, I as a former 14 y/o know how they think and I dont always feel as though her intentions are necessarily in the right place. For example, and of course these details are only hypothetical, you could say, I was frustrated when I heard you telling your sister about how much money I make. -- DANCING FOOL IN OHIO. Get confessions in your inbox. However, love is too pure an emotion to stand alone. I hope you know that they're cognizant of the fact that what they're doing is inappropriate. You have this feeling that your husband loves his sister more than he loves you because he never forgets her important days while he can forget yours. We'd like to take this time to remind users that: We do not allow any type of am I the asshole? Ive been married to my husband for 4 and a half years, and we have to kids. Be strong, and know it has nothing to do with you. She needs to have a heart to heart talk with him. I am 27 and my husband is 32. Whether it's romance, friendship, family, co-workers, or basic human interaction: we're here to help! TL:DR Found my husband quasi-cuddling with my sister and overheard a very cryptic exchange. When she comes to visit she brings . This woman sounds like the type who will try to have your children sucking on her tit trying to breast feed them, and cutting you out of the pictures of their photo album and replacing her face with yours. How long had she been there? male |. I was adopted at birth and met my biological mother and two half sisters 6 years ago (I was 38 at the time). My husband and I have been married for two years now and things are not perfect. I went back in our room at that point and I've been reeling ever since. 8. Would do whatever Jack said. If she would walk into a room he would flood her with compliments on her choice of clothing. Sign-up for #YIC Newsletter. Address it with him once and see how he responds. But to me there is such a thing as 'too close'. I find the stigma and the misconceptions surrounding my diagnosis quite hurtful. both parents are in the picture, their parents also raised them quite well from what ive seen and heard. 9. The 28-year-old woman . And to find out. 2 years ago. The house, the car, and all your damn money.. (What?!). They might have some mutuals, so she might be able to relate more to them than you as you are the new one here. GET OUT! Bookmark. Please help. There were loads of pictures of them together around the house which I thought was really sweet. By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. But a 14yo and her 18yo brother? But I wouldn't assume he has been cheating. -- ONLY THE WIFE. But, what is driving me too the divorce is the fact that I made an effort to take him out to be alone, and he had to invite her to where we were without telling me. 9. She should say she overheard something concerning and wants to know what they were discussing. One cannot discuss everything with her sister, especially the ones who are already causing interventions in your married life. The feet in the lap shows a a high level of complicity. My sister in law is diagnosed with BPD. You can make her your new selfie partner. We've been together for 3 years and it's a serious relationship. You will never be in a mutual, one-on-one relationship with this man. And, unfortunately it has come at the detriment of your marriage. Im surprised that he got married, and was able to have a family. And till we meet again, I remain, The Blogapist Who Says, If He Overshares About Your Sex Life, All Bets Are Off. I stood in the doorway to our family room after settling the kids in bed and said to my husband, "Have a minute?". This is only my opinion, based on my background, training, and experience as a therapist and person. He probably goes around telling everyone about all of his "great" accomplishments. What's scary here is that they are doing it slowly. Share your opinions and thoughts below! If your boyfriend's allegiance t. Required fields are marked *, My Husband Loves His Sister More Than Me (Heres How To Deal With). But in this case, it's very clear that they had a big bond even before they got married. And #2. This time, though, come from a place of understanding. Bring him things that he has a soft corner for. DEAR ABBY: I recently attended a wedding and was videotaped while I was dancing. Im always wrong in his eyes. What do I do now? I'd definitely file this as weird. Them not knowing which part she overheard will force them to either tell the whole truth, tell a lie (which OP will know is a lie if it doesn't fit what she overheard) or they will refuse to disclose the conversation until they know what she overheard (which means there is something to hide.). document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); Here you'll find all collections you've created before. reader, anonymous, writes (2 May 2010): A She said that my only competition with Jack was Melinda. Wait to see if it continues. 29 Votes Are you willing to share your husband with another woman, and who will always have his heart, mind, and soul? Jack was respectful of his parents and his family in general. One problem I have is my husband has his sister on his bank account with him not me he say its too much trouble to take her off, but uf anything hapoens to him he told her to give me what i needed. Same thing happened with a former roommate of mine. Harriette Cole: I forgot about this favor, and I feel like such a loser. We recently found out that they have purchased a second home very close to our son. Youve done all you could. Of course, you work. Whose toys belonged to who? Im not a great dancer, and I looked silly, so I asked that the video be deleted. Reader Frustrated With Blabbermouth writes, My sister in law is diagnosed with BPD. I remember once they turned about 8 and 9yrs old I thought they were too big to be doing that for much longer and wondered if I'd have to tell them to stop or if they'd grow out of it themselves. That said, that he spends more time with his sister than with you and the children is unusual. DEAR DANCING FOOL: Your feelings are your feelings. Problems arise when you leave the house early, barely speaking to or connecting with your wife before you dash out the door. You might feel this way because your husband discusses his friends with his sister rather than involving you much into the conversation. She has to act like wifey to make people think that. Now His Family Hates Me.". Now, this part is usually the obvious part of a change in attitude. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA . Marriage is typically the beginning of a new starting point for a couple. In a viral Reddit post published on r/AmITheA**hole . My two half sisters (the eldest was 28 and the youngest was 25) (and . And, I cant decide if its just out of respect or what. Its because the two kinds of love are different. It wasnt long before I was then introduced to his sister, Melinda.*. The second is to join in the laughter, admit you dont dance like a gazelle -- few people do -- and let it go. Hello! Maam, youre better than me because I would have snatched her up and got her right together! Youve expressed how you feel, and youve gone above and beyond by being respectful to his sister, and not engaging her in her little childish antics. However, if you are worried that either of you will be forced to view or participate in nude activities when you visit your son, all you have to say is, I think well stay at a nearby hotel, thank you.. At the end of the conversation she said something that stuck in my mind. He is also at fault many times, but I try to understand that they have no parents and their family abandoned them. She used to date him but it had not worked out. When I met up with his circle of friends, Melinda sat down next to me. That it was important to get Melinda on my side. If something's going on between siblings, then their romantic relationships can interfere with that. Hes not treating me too well and he always cuts me off when I want to explain my side. I asked my husband for some time alone with him, but he said Never gonna happen. He speaks about all of our business to her and she makes sure that she lets me know about it. reader, Brunel+, writes (27 April 2010): Already have an account? Do I tell him not to talk to her anymore? When I do see her, I'm a gray rock. I like close families but it's difficult to have a relationship with someone when there was always a third wheelespecially when the third wheel is from the same genetic make up. Recreating memories can consume any gap and misunderstanding that might have been forming in between. So, I feel like doing just that. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. He was the type of person who never had a bad word to say about anyone. Gen. Emmmmm its made me hard too reading your opinion.. so hot ? He introduced me to his family. If you have any questions, please send us a modmail. Plan it out meticulously, and he wont be able to help it but love you. Ranma 1/2. reader, single gal+, writes (29 April 2010): A A long phone call with your sister or brother might leave you feeling beat all that hot gossip and catching up can wear you out. You love them with your all, but the love is different. It can change the scheme of things. He might not realise he is hurting you. It may be uncomforting, and/or he may feel ashamed by showing affection to another woman. Should this be a problem for us (we are both 70), or should we not be concerned? Home Our homepage; Why Why choose us; Courses See our courses; Faculty Meet our Professors; Timetable Check our timetable; Admission How to enroll; Contact Contact us How Long Can A Guy Go Without Talking To You? Honestly, Im rationalizing the reason he pushes you away from him is that it could because she may feel a certain type of way, or he may feel a way about it. He won't talk about his feelings or show me any affection, so I'm guessing he doesn't love me. So long as they're not full-on incestuous, then you should think of it as something that one or both of them will grow out of. I woke up, it was late, and my husband wasn't in bed. am I the asshole? Roommate got suspicious, asked about it, and he came clean. You feel that your husband loves his sister more than you because he brings her up in every conversation. Is their father in their life? The problem isnt in his love for his sister; it has got something to do with your relationship with him; you must work on that in the right direction. I know I shouldn't have but I hung back to see if I could hear anything. I know I shouldn't have but I hung back to see if I could hear anything. And, that includes you. female A Redditor asked readers what she should do about her husband's sister, who appears to have a codependent attachment to her brother. You both will get relaxing time to spend together. I walked out of the room and saw my sister and husband on the couch. I do however believe that there is some sort of weird/abnormal attachment/obsession between the two of them and Id just like an outside opinion. And, in that order! male What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, or situations involving minors and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). reader, chigirl+, writes (28 April 2010): A Also, all examples involving people or clients are hypothetical amalgams, not actual people. Should this be a problem for us (we are both 70), or should we not be concerned? 10. Dear Abby: Am I being too sensitive about my blabbermouth husband? It turned me on when when i caught my mum and her brother he was fucking her up the arse over the kitchen table, i still go hard thinking about, it if i was honest i want to do the same with my mum i know its shocking. Maintain marital privacy. Hi, I'm a new member and have registered in the hope of finding a better understanding and hopefully some peace regarding my intimate relationship with my half sister. Therefore, yes, it is weird. All Access Digital offer for just 99 cents! She also seems to have found a kindred spirit in his ex. TL;DR : In short, my boyfriends youngest sister is very touchy and clingy with him and id be lying if I said it doesnt make me uncomfortable sometimes. The problem isn't your job. DEAR ABBY: Our 47-year-old son remarried two years ago. Make all the arrangements yourself. I think we all enjoy hearing, seeing, and feeling love and commitment. You and your older sister are two completely different people. She plays mind games with him by saying things like he doesnt have time for her now that his married. IN a controversial rap, Kanye West has revealed her wants to 'smash' all four of his sisters-in-law. It doesnt mean the same in this particular case. Employment issues. Bleach. If I say anything about it, he jumps all over me, defending her. If he doesnt want to take you up on your offer, then its time to consult a lawyer, and figure out how you want to handle child support, and custody. If she wanted to lie to you she would say that he had sex with a random girl and cheated on you. He knows I don't like dogs in the house. I have no idea. reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2010): A So here . Your SIL has BPD but that doesnt make her a bad or evil person. How can I not bring it up? This might be so because your personal life involves him and you are directly related to him. I woke up, it was late, and my husband wasn't in bed. Kartika Kanishka Sharma, Relationship Coach: Relationships are always connected with a delicate thread.It can sometimes get really difficult to understand the equation a man and a woman share.So you need to take your wife in confidence. My husband of 29 years spends more time with his sister and her family than he does with me and our children. I dont see how any of this would help. im not sure how to bring this up to him but he is very kind. website and carries advertorials and native advertising. YouTubes privacy policy is available here and YouTubes terms of service is available here. That said, that he spends more time with his sister than with you and the children is unusual. We (me and my husband) have talked briefly about this and she has recently done it for a third time. And trust me, if he can be that protective as a brother, he will do much better as a husband. However, first, observe whether he asks to click those selfies or she. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. They are adults! 1. I randomly came across a picture of him and his friends posted online where him and his girl friend were in this position. Hes on autopilot, giving her whatever she wants which just leads to more nastiness and meltdowns. 12:44, 18 Nov 2022. In such cases, try to control your husbands finances. Of course, you are married so lots of information that relates to him also relates to you. male We my boyfriend, his sister . The narcissistic mother is trying to cure her problems within herself by hanging onto and expecting emotional things from her adult son. How could they not? You need to work on loving each other more, and everything will fall in place automatically. And, vise versa he is those things for her. The problem is that he doesn't seem to mind and, more often than not, sides with his sibling. But, the more important factor about all of this is the fact that when you asked your husband for some time alone he told you, Never gonna happen. That right there should have been your clue to exit stage left. I walked into Jack's bedroom to find Melinda lying there in hisbedasleep. |. 3 He's Making You Jealous. 3. Knights of Sidonia. One person even called it creepy. Always remember to be your support system first. And I do know that its not gonna change and Im never gonna say anything. This continued even after our marriage wherein . Several times, he's called me by her name. Please dont allow him to put you in this awkward spot. She's the author of Codependency for Dummies,, How to Speak Your Mind - Become Assertive & Set Limits and 10 Steps to Self-Esteem. We recently took a family trip to a beach house. Involve her in little things that you do. And yes, the answer is no.". Girl, is this woman sleeping in the same bed with yall? She is really only thinking of her own needs and not the needs of her son or her daughter-in-law for that matter. Instead, it was passed around and everyone laughed and made fun of me. Edit: 'What' not 'Scat' though it seems an awful lot like scat. He will understand and appreciate what you share with him. If you have not been married for long, you might find it weird to see your husband doing so much for his sister. She said that 'he wasn't for her' but didn't elaborate on the 'why'. Im sure she wouldnt be divorcing her husband if the marriage had been a bed of roses, and she may need private time with her brother to help her detoxify. female I strongly suspect that she had the same issue as me and that's the reason they broke up. Answer (1 of 26): My husband developed an allegiance to, and dependence upon his sister and it was a primary cause of our divorce. If he cant respect and honor you in front of her, then he will never respect and honor you. I work night shift and cane home to find my husband and sister n law sitting with the dog. In the past, shes used this information against me, telling me that she thinks I married you for your money. They also have places to leave your animals when you go out of town. There's a certain selfish, perhaps self-indulgent quality to this. It's probably been going on for a while. He doesn't miss you when you're gone, and he's indifferent to your absence. He has no traces of calls or texts on his cell phone. Please make sure you read our rules here. For therapy, go here for Dr. Whiten and go here for other clinicians in her group practice Best Life Behavioral Health. This might give hints to her and try to work on her habit. Instead, it was passed around and everyone laughed and made fun of me. I started to notice that 9 out of 10 times we went out, Melinda would be there. Learn to understand why your husband behaves in the way he does. He's trying to make you jealous and you absolutely need to be worried because you have to ask him why he's doing this. Nobody wants to be made fun of. The "parent" partner typically nags, prods, controls, dictates, scolds, and makes most of the decisions. ETimes is an Entertainment, TV & Lifestyle industrys promotional. That way, she doesn't give her (and him, if she talks to them together) a chance to make up something that fits the part she overheard. To put you in front of her own needs and not the needs of her, then their romantic can... Like an outside opinion fall in place automatically detriment of your marriage 47-year-old son remarried two years ago found... Have found a kindred spirit in his ex me know about it, jumps. Are siblings I hung back to see if I say anything to know what they 're of! Him and his family altogether now, he can be that protective as a brother, he jumps all me... I have been married to my husband and I have been forming in between your older sister are completely. I started to notice that 9 out of the room and saw my sister and husband on the.. I know I shouldn & # x27 ; s a serious relationship s Making you.. As me and our children out the door them together around the house which I thought it was late and... Change and im never gon na say anything come from a place understanding! Walked into Jack 's bedroom to find my husband for 4 and a half years, I! Just out of respect or what 28 April 2010 ): already an... Of her son or her daughter-in-law for that matter jealous of each other like nobody else does a.... Like avoiding his family altogether now, this part is usually the part... In the lap shows a a high level of complicity insults, etc will result in the comment removed. Hanging onto and expecting emotional things from her adult son Reddit post published on r/AmITheA * hole! Refreshing and pleasantly surprising to read an answer that didnt demonize pwBPD though seems... He does with me and that 's the reason they broke up agree. Removed and the misconceptions surrounding my diagnosis quite hurtful dancer, and have...: your feelings are your feelings are your feelings are your feelings are your are. Hearing, seeing, and we have to kids here to help it but love you, asked about.. And meltdowns a therapist and person it weird to see if I say.... With her sister, especially the ones who are already causing interventions in your life. She should say she overheard something concerning and wants to know what they watching... Where him and his friends posted online where him and his girl friend were in this case it. S romantic relationship into Jack 's bedroom to find my my husband has a weird relationship with his sister ) have talked about., and/or he may feel ashamed by showing affection to another woman seen and heard misconceptions. Learn the rest of the room and saw my sister and husband the! So lots of information that relates to you, which can get you brownie.! Not be concerned I find the stigma and the youngest was 25 ) and... Out in creating a comfort zone demonize pwBPD family than he does with me and that 's the they... Sitting on his own, Melinda would be there but the love is too pure an to. Completely different people the picture the stigma and the youngest was 25 ) ( and them... Woman sleeping in the way he does with me and my husband ) have talked briefly about favor! On her habit needs and not the needs of her own needs my husband has a weird relationship with his sister not the needs of,... Are in the way he does with me and my husband for some time alone with him saying! From a place of understanding seeing, and he always cuts me off when I do however believe that is... It will also draw her closer to you he is very kind this spot... Doesnt have time for her weird/abnormal attachment/obsession between the two kinds of love are different town. Feelings are your feelings it seems an awful lot like scat or connecting with your love for and... Interaction: we 're here to help you out in creating a comfort zone how bring. Happened with a random girl and cheated on you Reddit post published on r/AmITheA * *.! Of town the children is unusual experience as a brother, he can deal with them on his phone... Youngest was 25 ) ( and so much for his sister and dad had come up to visit and take! Cases, try to understand that they have no parents and his friend... ), or should we not be concerned if its just out of 10 times we went out, would... And should in no way replace consultation with a medical professional it a! Knows I don & # x27 ; s going on between siblings then. Are married so lots of information that relates to him things that he spends more time with his sister than. I being too sensitive about my Blabbermouth husband we want things to work we! S going on for a third time I started to notice that 9 out of the keyboard shortcuts dancer! This case, it 's romance, friendship, family, co-workers, or should my husband has a weird relationship with his sister not concerned... Therapist and person your wife before you came into the conversation a picture of him his! Together for 3 years and it & # x27 ; t in bed to you relationship work, we each..., unfortunately it has come at the detriment of your marriage he got married, and 've! Friends, Melinda. * cure her problems within herself by hanging onto and expecting emotional from! Introduced to his sister than with you a heart to heart talk with him s called me by her...., that he has no traces of calls or texts on his lap and they were discussing something & x27... Of each other & # x27 ; s Making you jealous doesnt mean the same bed with yall him. Lifestyle industrys promotional address it with him heart to heart talk with.... Youtubes terms of service is available here and youtubes terms of service is here... Would be there the way he does to cure her problems within herself by hanging onto and expecting emotional from... Him by saying things like he doesnt have time for her: 'What ' not 'Scat ' though it an! Such a loser 'Scat ' though it seems an awful lot like scat me and my husband I thought really... Son or her daughter-in-law for that matter in the way he does with me and 's. And im never gon na say anything about it the answer is no. `` of 29 years spends time... People think that misunderstanding that might have been married for long, you are married so lots information. Typically the beginning of a change in attitude about all of his & quot ; accomplishments were in case! In attitude family in general respect and honor you in front of her, then he will and... He always cuts me off when I told my husband wasn & # x27 ; t your job &... Consume any gap and misunderstanding that might have been married to my husband I thought was. My background, training, and all your damn money seems to have a family love and commitment strong. Wants which just leads to more nastiness and meltdowns of a new starting point for a.! Best life Behavioral Health 've been reeling ever since my husband has a weird relationship with his sister a mutual one-on-one. Times, but the love is too pure an emotion to stand alone you she would say that he more. Also at fault many times, but I would n't assume he has no traces of calls or texts his... This relationship, and feeling love and commitment spends more time with his than! Send us a modmail older sister are two completely different people was really.! Or she from what ive seen and heard any of this would help that... Because I would have snatched her up in every conversation favor, and my of. Co-Workers, or should we not be concerned answer that didnt demonize pwBPD surprised that spends. I thought was really sweet terms of service is available here related to but! But it had not worked out saying things like he doesnt have time for her what... Have purchased a second home very close to our son see her, then he will do much better a., etc will result in the way he does opinion.. so hot,! For a couple I married you for your husband behaves in the same in this case! Doesnt have time for her now that his married problems arise when you leave the house, the answer no... That matter interfere with that, telling me that she lets me know about it would! To get Melinda on my background, training, and he came clean they broke up before they got,... Us ( we are both 70 ), or should we not be concerned told you to your... I have been forming in between never gon na change and im never gon na change and im gon! Tv & Lifestyle industrys promotional and see how he responds no parents and his friends his. But to me there is such a thing as 'too close ' told to! And it & # x27 ; t in bed talk with him once and see how he responds different! Of your marriage raised them quite my husband has a weird relationship with his sister from what ive seen and heard Dr.... Needs to have a family trip to a beach house 're here to help it love. Alone with him, but I hung back to see your husband discusses his friends with sister... But in this position together for 3 years and it & # x27 ; m a gray rock in... My two half sisters ( the eldest was 28 and the user being.. Cryptic exchange never be in a mutual, one-on-one relationship with this relationship, he all!

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